Nothing says “leave me alone” like a mildly aggressive waterfowl. These socks are navy blue, loud-mouthed, and absolutely over it. With a bright yellow duck floating smugly through cartoonishly calm waters and orange text that reads “Duck Off,” they deliver that special brand of poultry-powered apathy you’ve been looking for. The yellow toe and heel? That’s just flair for the drama. Wear them to meetings where your soul flatlines. Wear them to brunch with people you didn’t invite. Or just wear them around the house while silently daring your roommate to ask why the Wi-Fi is down again. One size fits most (Men 6–11, Women 7.5–12), and the cotton-poly blend is soft enough to cushion even your most deeply repressed irritation. Not subtle. Not sorry. Not quacking around.