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Deadpan

Deadpan wholesale

Star

Delivers by Sep 21-Oct 6

About Deadpan

We make cards that tell the truth. It started when Neil and Nick sat opposite each other at work in an office in London. About twice a week, someone passed round a birthday card for one of their colleagues. Who they didn’t even like. And boy, were the cards cringeworthy. Wouldn’t it be better, Neil and Nick thought, if cards said what we all really meant? Instead of ‘Good luck in your new job!’, it would say ‘You are moving from one mediocre job to another.’ They realised it was the one thing the world really needed. So they got together with Vic (she knows about business, see), and that’s what they made: cards that tell the truth. Cards for people who don’t like cards. Deadpan Cards

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Cindy Davenport, Cinport Floral Studio & Gift Designs by Cinport

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Cindy Davenport, Cinport Floral Studio & Gift Designs by Cinport

Ratings and reviews

5.0

Brand rating (7 reviews)

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5.0

Fulfillment

We love these cards, and so do our customers! They sell so fast and I can’t recommend them enough!

We love these cards, and so do our customers! They sell so fast and I can’t recommend them enough!

May 26, 2022 • Yvonne • Leeds, United Kingdom

Purchased products:

Purchased product: Birthday: You have been alive for several years.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have reached an arbitrary milestone.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have been alive for a period of time...
Purchased product: Birthday: Congratulations on your ongoing existence.
Purchased product: Father's Day: Thank you for your input into my existence.
Purchased product: Mother's day: We are genetically related.
Purchased product: Mother's day: You appear on my birth certificate.

Deadpan cards create a wonderful experience for our customers in the store… I love to hear the belly laughs followed by sales of always more than one card!

Deadpan cards create a wonderful experience for our customers in the store… I love to hear the belly laughs followed by sales of always more than one card!

May 3, 2022 • Margaret • Asheville, NC, United States

Purchased products:

Purchased product: 18th birthday: Enjoy pretending to start drinking.
Purchased product: 21st birthday: When are you moving out again?
Purchased product: 40th birthday: This really highlights our age difference.
Purchased product: 40th birthday: Time to reflect on how little you've achieved
Purchased product: 60th birthday: Honestly, I'm surprised you're still here.
Purchased product: 60th birthday: It was fun while it lasted
Purchased product: Anniversary: Astonishingly, we are still together.
Purchased product: Belated birthday: This card is late because I it was...
Purchased product: Engagement: Maybe you'll be in the other 50%.
Purchased product: You are gay, so this card features rainbows.
Purchased product: Friendship: You're the best friend I haven't alienated.
Purchased product: Housewarming: Good luck getting your internet working.
Purchased product: Valentine's: in place of a genuinely romantic gesture
Purchased product: Covid: I am still not prepared to hug you.
Purchased product: You have a nice face.
Purchased product: You make a nice sandwich.

Excellent all round

Excellent all round

Feb 28, 2022 • Liz • Malton, United Kingdom

Purchased products:

Purchased product: Anniversary: Kievs for tea!
Purchased product: Birthday: Let's have a Taste the Difference ready meal.
Purchased product: Anniversary: Astonishingly, we are still together.
Purchased product: Birthday: Happy growing sense of inadequacy and mortality.
Purchased product: Father's Day: Let's celebrate this day with minimal emotion.
Purchased product: You are a hipster, so this card mentions oat milk.
Purchased product: You are an old lady, so this card mentions cats.
Purchased product: You are an old man, so this card mentions gardening.
Purchased product: Friendship: We're only friends because of your dog.
Purchased product: Housewarming: Good luck getting your internet working.
Purchased product: Housewarming: Let's hope there's no knotweed.
Purchased product: Baby: Your life is now over.
Purchased product: Baby: It will now take you two hours just to leave the house
Purchased product: You made me laugh once.
Purchased product: You know to use a semi-colon;
Purchased product: Your smile is alright.

These have been an instant best seller in our shop, our customers absolutely love them and so do we!

These have been an instant best seller in our shop, our customers absolutely love them and so do we!

Nov 26, 2021 • Yvonne • Leeds, United Kingdom

Purchased products:

Purchased product: 30th birthday: The fun to hangover ratio's about to tip.
Purchased product: Birthday: The Viennetta's on me.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have been alive for several years.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have reached an arbitrary milestone.
Purchased product: Birthday: A year has passed since you got one of these cards
Purchased product: Birthday: You were born on this day a number of years ago.
Purchased product: Birthday: Congratulations on your ongoing existence.
Purchased product: Birthday: Happy growing sense of inadequacy and mortality.
Purchased product: Birthday: I can't believe how quickly our lives are draining
Purchased product: Friendship: We're only friends because of your dog.
Purchased product: Housewarming: You have moved all of your belongings in a van
Purchased product: Housewarming: Let's hope there's no knotweed.
Purchased product: Baby: It will now take you two hours just to leave the house

These cards have become an instant hit in our shop - our customers absolutely love them! I highly recommend stocking up, they’ll fly out!

These cards have become an instant hit in our shop - our customers absolutely love them! I highly recommend stocking up, they’ll fly out!

Oct 27, 2021 • Yvonne • Leeds, United Kingdom

Purchased products:

Purchased product: 21st birthday: If you were a dog, you'd be dead.
Purchased product: 30th birthday: Too old for fun. Too young for wisdom.
Purchased product: 50th birthday: Even botox can't help you now.
Purchased product: Anniversary: You are still married.
Purchased product: Anniversary: Remarkably, I have remembered our anniversary.
Purchased product: Anniversary: Astonishingly, we are still together.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have been alive for several years.
Purchased product: Birthday: You have reached an arbitrary milestone.
Purchased product: Birthday: Congratulations on your ongoing existence.
Purchased product: Birthday: Happy growing sense of inadequacy and mortality.
Purchased product: Christmas: Merry Covid booster season.
Purchased product: Christmas: This card celebrates a supposed event in the past
Purchased product: Christmas: Merry family argumentsmas
Purchased product: Christmas: It's marginally worse for the turkey.
Purchased product: Christmas: Here's to dry turkey and barely repressed...
Purchased product: Christmas: You survived Covid for this.
12
Birthday cards

Birthday cards

Holiday cards

Holiday cards

Everyday cards

Everyday cards

Congrats cards

Congrats cards

Love & friendship cards

Love & friendship cards

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